Drake to sue ITV

from our Beer and Showbusiness correspondent Stray Photon:

"Gabs" outlines her complaints at today's press conference.

Following her brief but triumphant appearance in ITV's "Coronation Street", glamorous actress and part-time Hull City manager Gabrielle Drake is contemplating legal action against Granada TV, makers of the long running soap opera, over what she has called a "monumental cock-up" in the make up department.

...and as she appears on the "Street"

"It's outrageous. Somehow they managed to make me look about 59," said Ms Drake (69).


The former Moonbase commander continued;


"My fans are distraught, and I have been inundated by a letter of complaint from a Mr S. Photon of Twickenham, Middlesex, about my hair having been dyed a strange unearthly "Dark Chestnut Brown" colour."



Meanwhile at the KC Stadium, as plans are made to strengthen the Tigers' squad for a second season in the Premier League, the club's nailbiting last gasp escape from relegation has been linked to a sudden increase in profits from merchandising at the club's online shop:

The Hat is Back!

And Spraying the Rays would like to be the 413,359th to congratulate Brentford Athletic FC on their promotion as Champions of something called Football League Two. Already sitting pretty on top of Football League One, the club looks set to achieve back to back promotions into the Championship, a feat last achieved by, er, Hull City. COME ON YOU BEES!






Next Week: part one of a new drama series: Mr. Windass Goes to Darlington. Our hero Deano gets on the wrong train at York, ending up at Selhurst Park instead of the Northern Echo Arena, and much hilarity ensues...