Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

10 September 2010

Book Review

The Fallen: Life In and Out of Britain’s Most Insane Group

by Dave Simpson

Dave Simpson, Guardian journalist, sets out to track down the 50 odd ex-members of Manchester’s legendary group The Fall. A bloody good read. A fascinating insight into the workings of the band and in particluar the modus operandi of their enigmatic frontman Mark E Smith.

After reading it I found myself going back to my record collection and listening to all of my Fall record (Live at the Witch Trials).

But it also made me wonder, why was I never in the Fall? After all I can do Dour and Northern along with the best of them…and as for untrained and haphazard musicianship, I’m the Master!

But the Fall Call never came.

(TV tip: don’t miss the documentary on BBC3 tonight at 21.25: The Strange and Frightening World of Mark E Smith. Of course if you’re watching the repeat of this blog you’ve missed it. It was very good.)

In the spirit of The Fallen, Spraying the rays decided to embark on a similar project We set out to track down all of the rockstar ex-partners of Patsy Kensit, actress, singer and now contestant on the new series of Strictly Come Dancing! (Yes dance fans, it’s back, and starts tomorrow! – or last Thursday if you’re reading this on UK Gold…)

Kensit: "oh no, they've not found Photon, have they?"

We all know about Jim Kerr, Liam Gallagher and Bert Weedon, but less is known about the stormy two week marriage Ms Kensit embarked on in the early Seventies with a slightly lesser known pop legend.

Spraying the Rays managed to find Patsy’s first rock’n’roll hubby, Stray Photon, in the less than glamorous surroundings of the Rifleman public house in Twickenham apparently under the influence of several pints of Twickenham Fine Ales. He spoke exclusively to our Showbusiness Correspondent, Horizontal Dave:

“Yeah, man, I knew Patsy, we was both very young in them days though, shame it didn’t work out. Lovely girl. Very big feet.”

We also spoke to the current Mrs Photon. She told Spraying the Rays, "Are you still doing that stupid thing? Blogging is so 2007. Why don't you Twitter like everyone else? Then at least you'd be limited to only 43 char

Next Week: Spraying the Rays speaks to Liam Gallagher. He tells us to f**k off.

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