Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

29 January 2009

Stray Photon's Late, Late Christmas Appeal

Hello readers!

Has anyone seen Bob Swipe's Blog?

There is a big hole in the Blogosphere where it used to be. It looks like this:


Have you seen it? Has it been left on your train? Please check all your garages, sheds and other outhouses for any signs of it sleeping rough.

After a swift whip round was arranged amongst fellow bloggers, the Lost Blogs Comittee can offer a handsome reward of £5.31 for its safe return.


26 January 2009

Crowd trouble at Hull: The Truth

The romance of the FA cup

Our Beer and Football correspondent Stray Photon writes:

As builders move in to to rebuild the wrecked KC Stadium, Spraying the Rays can exclusively reveal the real reason behind the disgraceful scenes of crowd violence which marred the weekend's fourth round FA cup tie and further sullied the battered reputation of the national game.

In scenes reminiscent of the 1980s, fans of rival clubs Hull City and Millwall fought each other in and outside the ground and argued over whether everybody should Wang Chung tonight, or not.

But what could have sparked off the violence?

I spoke with one of the London club's fans, Ronnie Geezer.

"Nah mate, see this wasn't just your normal away trip, this was more of your pilgrimage type thing."

Mr Geezer continued in an unfeasible cockney accent;

"We didn't come all this way to the frozen North just for a game of football: we came to pay homage at a sacred place, to worship at the shrine. We came to see the legend that is Deano."

"Then when one of of these Northern muppets told us that he wasn't even on the bench, well that's when it all kicked off mate, apples and pairs, how's yer father and all that old pony."

"I mean we was expecting to see one of the legends of football, a master of his art, a true magician of the turf, and it turns out he's gone to bleeding Oldham on loan. Well, we was bound to be a bit narked, wasn't we?"

Hull manager Gabrielle Drake is insisting the the South London club compensate Hull City for the damage caused.

Drake: cross

"These scenes no longer have any place in the modern game," commented the purple be-wigged gaffer.

"I have contacted my counterpart at Millwall and demanded they pay for the damage. One of our fans tore the front cover of his programme as he stood up to get a better look at the trouble, and all that police horse crap doesn't clean itself up, you know."

A Mr. Howesey "Howesey" Howes of Brentford...Syon Lane...er sorry, Hounslow, also commented;

"Bloody hell, he isn't even at the sodding club any more and still he gets his ugly mug in the blog. Cancel my subscription forthwith, Bennett."

Robert Swipe is still missing.

Next week: The Red Guitars: my part in their downfall.

09 January 2009

Windass to Oldham


There goes the blog.

Cheers, Deano; thanks for putting us in the Premier League.

Gone, but not...er, what was his name again?

Next Week: Why was Stray Photon never in The Fall? Spraying the Rays investigates.

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