Stray Photon is Alive!

Long lost blogger found after a decade in the ice... 

Stray Photon - before

Following the recent unprecedented heatwave, the body which emerged from the melting Feltham glacier has been identified as the legendary Twickenham blogger known as Stray Photon. 

Last heard from 10 years ago, it had been assumed that Photon had been abducted by Russian secret services due to his alleged involvement with various “isotope irregularities”. 

His body was discovered early on the morning of the 14th August by a dog walker who asked not to be named. Frank Lee Ridiculous (41) told Spraying the Rays that at first he did not realise what he had found. “I thought I had just chanced upon a pile of tattered old 70’s clothing someone had thrown away or dropped on the way to a charity shop. But on closer examination I discovered a seemingly lifeless person within.” 

The body was rushed to Worst Muddlesex Hospital where following an emergency infusion of Twickenham Fine Ales Red Sky Bitter, Feetton began to show signs of recovery. 

At a hastily arranged press conference Professor Mike Rowave said that he had never before seen such a rapid recovery from  a prolonged period of hibernation. 

However, he also warned that the patient might need time to adjust to having “lost” the last ten years. “His first words to me on learning that he had missed a decade were, “Oh my God. Please don’t tell me that f****r Johnson is still Mayor of London?” It was at that point it became clear that he would need to be sedated.”

 

Starchy Cruton - reocovered

Next week: Exclusive! Stray talks to Spraying the Rays about his lost years.