England F...

Fucking hell.

Still at least we'll see England vs Scotland next summer.

Fucking hell.

Missing Discs: Swipe to Resign?

Swipe: in trouble again?

Well known blogger Robert Swipe (53) is facing increasing calls for his resignation following a frank admission to the nation of the loss of several important discs containing important musical data.

Mr Swipe’s blog has made no secret of the fact that these discs have been mislaid, stolen or lost through no fault other than his own.

However the former Twickenham pop legend denied that the incident has put anyone’s security at risk.

"It’s just a “Storm in a Teacup”…ooh no, that was the Fortunes’ follow up to “Freedom Come Freedom Go”, wasn’t it, back in 1972, and I never had that, so I can’t have lost it, can I?" stated Swipe, becoming increasingly confused.

Mis-Fortunes for Bob

“I will survive” he continued, before claiming that this record too was never in his possession.

However other major figures in the blogging fraternity were less inclined to see Mr Swipe’s point of view.

“This is an absolute outrage,” stated a Mr S Photon, founder of Bloggers against the Bob. “Swipe has no choice but to step down immediately and I demand a full public inquiry into the situation.”

Photon continued, "In order to prevent such a crisis occurring again I am prepared to offer my services and personally look after all Mr Swipes rare and valuable LP's and 45's myself. After all I have never mislaid or lost any sort of record...mind you I did have that slipped disc back in '93 and that's never been right since, and where on earth did I put that Kirsty McColl CD?"

Swipe: soon to have a police record?

LATEST: Questions have also been asked in the House (well, my house at least) about another missing record: no Nick Lowe entry in the Guardians supposed list of 1,000 LPs to hear before you die. Whats all that about then?

Next week: In an unrelated development, police in Hull, East Yorkshire are investigating the mysterious disappearance of Hull Grammar School from its site on Bishop Alcock Road. Local youths or former old boys are thought to be to blame. More to follow.

Floreat Nostra Schola (May Our School Flourish)

Narcolepsy: An End in Sight?

What-ho, listeners!

You know, as a health care professional I am often asked, "Professor Photon, I keep falling asleep at inappropriate times, for example at work or on the bus. Can you help?"

Of course I can! They don't call me the Boss of Buzz for nothing!

Simply click here, download the podcast, stick it on the old MP3 thingy and hey presto! Those catchy tunes, hand-selected by self-styled "Vinyl VIPs" Bob and Stray, will have your toes tapping like nobody's business. You'll never doze again!

Bye!

Next Week: Photon's backache cure: serious side effects reported.

Insomnia: New Miracle Cure

Hello there viewers!

You know, as a health care professional I am often asked, "Professor Photon, I just can't get to sleep at night. Can you help?"

Of course I can! They don't call me the Sultan of Slumber for nothing!

Simply click here, download the podcast, stick it on the old MP3 thingy and hey presto! You'll be dozing within minutes!



Bye!

Next Week: Stray cures backache forever!