A Christmas Message from Stray Photon

[run VT: library video footage of SP opening buildings, launching ships, accepting flowers from disinterested snotty nosed kids etc]

Studio: SP in front of hastily erected backdrop of Twickenham Green covered in artificial snow.

SP speaks:

Stray: peoples hero

"My fellow Bloggerians."

"I'm not going to pretend to you that this has been an easy year. With the benefit of hindsight, yes, Mistakes have Been Made. Only a fool would deny that. But it's important too, that we don't lose sight of Those Things we have done Right. And at this time of year again when our thoughts turn to baby Jesus and all that, we have the opportunity to review the last 12 months. "

"Tragically, due to the despicable activities of the so called Masked Hacker, all entries on the Blog from before August have been deleted. The loss to blogging culture is incalculable."

"As you know, investigations are continuing into this matter, but as I speak the identity if the hacker remains a mystery. Speculation within the blogging community is rife, especially as at the time of the incident, Spraying the Rays was runaway favourite to win the coveted BABA Blog of the Year award. "

Swipe: prime suspect

There are those who have raised an accusing finger in the direction of Robert Swipe, and pointed out that as the previous winner and strong candidate for this years award, he had everything to gain from the deletion of such moving entries as "Rumsfeld: My Part in his Downfall" and "Matchday with Deano". Thankfully, some images from these features survived."

Windass: deleted

But speaking as someone who has known the boy Swipe for many years, at this at this time when we should be thinking thoughts of charity and forgiveness, my response to the cynics who suspect him of such evildoings is..."yes, you're right, that's just the sort of thing the bounder would do, isn't it?"

Bob, of course now Baron Swipe of Ivybridge following his recent appearance on the New Year's honours list, no longer sees fit to mix with us lowly bloggers. Hah! So much for his stance as a man of the people. His blog however, in the meantime, has passed into the more than capable hands (Oh! the stories I could tell...) of his far more talented and delightfully husky voiced sister Roberta, and the only fitting tribute to her predecessor would be, "Bob Who?"

by crikey, Miss Swipey!

"Nice to see that at least one member of the family can sing! Meanwhile of course investigations into the Cash For Honours scandal continue... "

"Those who are without guilt..." I hear you say, and yes, I readily confess there have been a number of unfortunate "misunderstandings" this year in my dealings with the law. "

"Firstly the widely misinterpreted "guitar abuse scandal" which is now seen for what it is; a despicable attempt to besmirch my spotless reputation as musician of the highest calibre. Similarly, the scurrilous rumours over my behaviour following the legenday Basingstoke gig have been proved without substance, and a not inconsiderable amount of money (37p) paid into the funds of a charity of my choice following an out of court settlement between Howesy "Howesey" Howes and myself."

(And here's a special Christmas link for Dave Howesey "Howesey" howesy howes Howes to show that there are no hard feelings! Don't forget to bookmark it, H!)

"And about the Polonium, well yes, arguably a slightly embarrassing misjudgement; the return to a state of Cold War diplomacy between our two great nations is to be regretted, and I promise I will no longer leave the Radioactive Storage Safe on the latch out of hours again."

Drake: 4 points out of 6

"On the plus side however, despite initial opposition to my appointment of Gabrielle Drake as manager, Hull City have shown signs of recovery especially after yesterdays 0-0 draw away to L**ds United, Once again history will show that my judgement should not be questioned."

"And doctors, Government ministers, healthcare administrators, nurses and other healthcare professionals have been almost unaninimous in their praise of this blog's campaign to demystify the strange and disturbing world of Diagnostic Radiology though my erudite and witty blog entries on the subject."

"I must make a special mention of Molly Bloom and [Euro]Trac, both missing in action in the final weeks of the 2006 blogging campaign, and sadly missed."

"For a special Christmas message from the past, click here. I would like to dedicate this to all my regular contributors on the Comments pages, especially Bob and Roberta Swipe, Istvanski, Howesy, Molly Bloom, Trac, Tess, I-Pimp-For-Hobbits, Gentleman Mike, and also to all my other readers. "

"Happy Christmas all of you, and here's to a Blogtastic 2007! "

SP raises pint of Twickenham Fine Ales' latest concoction, blanches slightly but forces a festive grin.

Fade to black.

Commercial break featuring adverts for sales and holidays.

Next week: Looking Forward: Predictions for 2007 and beyond

NB: this Christmas message is NOT available as a "Podcast". However on request I am prepared to write it out in my best analogue handwriting and post it to you.