More radiology questions...

After an overwhelming response to last weeks edition (from Howesey and Istvanski), Spaying the Strays welcomes back the world's most famous radiographer, the legendary Stray Photon!

Stray Photon: "Hello readers!"

Ms MB asks: Why is it that when they take an X-ray, the radiographer disappears behind a screen to press the button?

Stray responds: This is in response to a recent directive where radiographers and other paramedical staff are encouraged to spend as little time as possible with patients. People coming into hospitals often have horrible lurgy and sometimes don't even know what's wrong with them. Well the last thing staff want is to catch anything nasty, isn't it? Also, patients have an unfortunate habit of asking awkward questions, such as "What the hell is wrong with me?" and "why do you have to take this picture again? Did you f*ck it up the first time?" By interposing a sheet of lead glass between the operator and the examinee the radiographer can pretend not to have heard the question.

ET of SE London wonders: What does it mean when a doctor writes "GOK" on the X-ray request form in the section marked "Provisional Diagnosis"?

Stray responds: I wouldn't worry too much about this. It is a very complicated medical term and a layperson wouldn't really be expected to understand. However those with an interest in medicine might be interested to learn that GOK, or to give it its full name of "God only knows" is a common condition similar to NFI. (No f**king idea)

Some other useful abbreviations to know are:

NFN: "Normal for Norfolk"

ABFI: a common condition on Sunday mornings between September and May: "Another bloody football injury"

Ouch!

BLABSH: Turn the X-rays up to 11, this patient is "Built like a brick outhouse"

I wonder if any readers have other medical acronyms they might wish to share?

TT of the Isle of Man inquires: Are there any plans to bring the frankly rather dowdy radiographer's uniforms up to date, and do you have any pictures that might illustrate this?

Stray responds: Happy to oblige, TT! You're right of course, just because some of us are struggling with equipment built fifteen years ago, this doesn't mean we can't at least try and look our best! The Committee for Radiographic Advancement Potential (CRAP) recently published a study considering possible developments in this area, and I am happy to say that their recommendations for a revised dress code are soon to be adopted by many NHS trusts in the UK.

And I can tell you that I look pretty cool in my new outfit!

A modern Nuclear Medicine department

A Ms Myboss writes from Surrey: I am appalled at this irresponsible use of internet bandwidth to drag the honourable and noble profession of radiography...blah blah blah...

Stray responds: Christ! Scatter!

Next week: A casualty officer asks: Why is the radiographer never around out of hours when you need them?

To which Stray responds, "Don't you think we've got better things to do in the middle of the night than taking pictures of ill people? Like, er, sleeping, yeah?"