Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

15 November 2006

More radiology questions...


After an overwhelming response to last weeks edition (from Howesey and Istvanski), Spaying the Strays welcomes back the world's most famous radiographer, the legendary Stray Photon!

Stray Photon: "Hello readers!"


Ms MB asks: Why is it that when they take an X-ray, the radiographer disappears behind a screen to press the button?

Stray responds: This is in response to a recent directive where radiographers and other paramedical staff are encouraged to spend as little time as possible with patients. People coming into hospitals often have horrible lurgy and sometimes don't even know what's wrong with them. Well the last thing staff want is to catch anything nasty, isn't it? Also, patients have an unfortunate habit of asking awkward questions, such as "What the hell is wrong with me?" and "why do you have to take this picture again? Did you f*ck it up the first time?" By interposing a sheet of lead glass between the operator and the examinee the radiographer can pretend not to have heard the question.

ET of SE London wonders: What does it mean when a doctor writes "GOK" on the X-ray request form in the section marked "Provisional Diagnosis"?

Stray responds: I wouldn't worry too much about this. It is a very complicated medical term and a layperson wouldn't really be expected to understand. However those with an interest in medicine might be interested to learn that GOK, or to give it its full name of "God only knows" is a common condition similar to NFI. (No f**king idea)

Some other useful abbreviations to know are:

NFN: "Normal for Norfolk"

ABFI: a common condition on Sunday mornings between September and May: "Another bloody football injury"

Ouch!

BLABSH: Turn the X-rays up to 11, this patient is "Built like a brick outhouse"

I wonder if any readers have other medical acronyms they might wish to share?


TT of the Isle of Man inquires: Are there any plans to bring the frankly rather dowdy radiographer's uniforms up to date, and do you have any pictures that might illustrate this?

Stray responds: Happy to oblige, TT! You're right of course, just because some of us are struggling with equipment built fifteen years ago, this doesn't mean we can't at least try and look our best! The Committee for Radiographic Advancement Potential (CRAP) recently published a study considering possible developments in this area, and I am happy to say that their recommendations for a revised dress code are soon to be adopted by many NHS trusts in the UK.
And I can tell you that I look pretty cool in my new outfit!

A modern Nuclear Medicine department

A Ms Myboss writes from Surrey: I am appalled at this irresponsible use of internet bandwidth to drag the honourable and noble profession of radiography...blah blah blah...

Stray responds: Christ! Scatter!

Next week: A casualty officer asks: Why is the radiographer never around out of hours when you need them?

To which Stray responds, "Don't you think we've got better things to do in the middle of the night than taking pictures of ill people? Like, er, sleeping, yeah?"

7 Comments:

At 11:53 am, November 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooooh thank you! I knew I mustn't give up. Very sexy.

TT of the Isle of Man. Hahaha. Very funny on many counts not least because my poor TT was squished on Saturday by someone who would probably be considered NFN. Why is it called the Isle of Man do you think? Is there really only one? Lucky for him I suppose. Manx cats have no tails do they. I wonder if the man is struck with a similar affliction?

I do have a public blog but I don't write to it very often and deleted most of the old stuff.
(funwithvomit2@blogspot.com).

xx

 
At 7:50 pm, November 16, 2006, Blogger Howesy said...

Oh for goodness sake! Don't sit there thinking that just because the picture is reduced slightly in size, that I won't spot the Windassters brutally ugly features.
I have seen him, and he's not nice.
Think of the children man!!!

 
At 8:04 pm, November 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure he would look a lot prettier in the new radiology dept outfit though.

 
At 8:05 pm, November 16, 2006, Anonymous Simon Jordan of se225 said...

By using your fabulous machinery, could you tell me if my future players are currently swimming about in my own bollocks?

 
At 11:29 pm, November 16, 2006, Blogger Stray Photon said...

Stray responds:

Dear Mr Jordan.

Fabulous though my machinery may be, the ability to see into the future is not needed here. I suggest future salvation for your organisation lies in the present; by releasing your assets, not those contained in the testicular region, I am thinking more of your human resources. SEND PETER TAYLOR BACK TO HULL. Mind you after somehow getting 7 points out of the last 9 maybe we don't want him back now anyway. he could always look after the junior reserves...

 
At 10:50 pm, November 17, 2006, Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I laughed at that too Kitty. Funny wasn't it? Ooh look there's Gabrielle again. She's gorgeous. Bring back purple hair and silver lycra I say!

 
At 5:11 pm, November 18, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are nearly top!!!! Second on goal difference. Oooooh I am so excited.

Sorry to hear you were Stoked.

I am SO excited! In fact I am so excited that I am going to kiss that photo you put up of Windarse.

 

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