Global Warming: An End in Sight?

By our Science Correspondent

Climate Change could be a distant memory as early as 2013 if radical proposals being considered by the world’s most computer literate nations are adopted.

Scientists have suggested that the simple measure of abolishing spaces in online documentation such as emails and webpages could save enough energy to reduce the carbon output of the planet by an astonishing 5,349bn tonnes per year.

Space: waste of...

Approximately 1.4 million spaces are used daily world-wide, and it is estimated that each space character uses an average of 17.3 nano-joules of energy to transmit when contained in any digital format. Using this formula, boffins have calculated that global warming could be reversed within 3 years even if only 25% of PC users are prepared to "save the space."

A Ministry of Energy spokesman told Spraying the Rays; “Thisisfantasticnews.”

“Theplanetissaved." He continued:

"Andwecangobacktodrivingfastcarsagainandturnourguitaramplifiersbackupto11.”

The government is expected to launch a massive campaign to encourage Internet users to “Drop the Blanks”. However it is thought that Prime Minister Gordon Brown is not in favour of legislation outlawing the use of the space completely.

The news has led to speculation that other text characters could be taken out of circulation to accelerate the reversal of global warming. Spraying the Rays spoke to Ally Teration, Professor of English at the Feltham Polytechnic:

“I’m sure there are lots of other options to consider Take the full stop for example I've never really seen the point of it Why finish one sentence when you're only going to start another?

Similarly a massive energy saving could be made by withdrawing the letter E, suggested Prof Teration, “Surly w could quit happily undrtand what w man without this uslss squiggl?”

Itishoughtthatifallthmasurswrtaknthworldcouldsanndtoclimatchangasarlyasnxttusday


A Mrs Photon of Twickenham commented, “Wouldn’t it save even more energy if you stopped writing your silly blog altogether and did something more useful instead? I mean, it’s not as though anybody reads it, is it?”

Next week: Stray Photon sorts out World Poverty before teatime.