Beer Review

from our Beer and, er, Beer correspondent Stray Photon.

Hello drinkers!

As you know it's unlike me to stray far from the fine fare offered by my local brewery, Twickenham Fine Ales, or occasionally their deadly rival Fuller Smith and Turner.

But the other week I found myself in the Roebuck in Hampton Hill and an ale hailing from the Surrey side of the Thames caught my eye:

Waylands Brewery's Martian Mild.

Now, as a Northern youth I used to associate Mild with sad old men sitting in their dingy local bemoaning the state of the world and reminiscing about how much better things were in their day.


But now that I am one of those, I thought I should give it a go.


Stray's Tasting Notes:


Cor, yummy! Wet and beery!


I enjoyed it so much I had another.



And another.

Legend has it that this is the very fluid used by the Martians to lubricate their machines of war.

But this is obviously bollocks. They used Fuller's ESB because of its lower viscosity at the sub zero temperatures encountered in space, as any fule kno.

Whilst on the subject of beer, I note that yet another beer from Twickenham Fine Ales is about to tickle our palates: Twickenham Struise Porter. Expect a full review of this beer on Spraying the Rays as soon as your correspondent can persuade Bob Swipe to buy him a pint of it.

In the meantime however here's an extract from the small print:

"Master Brewer Urbain Coutteau visited Twickenham in the third week of July and together with Twickenham's Head Brewer Tom Madeiros they brewed a 5% Porter called Twickenham Struise Porter. Brewed using Amber and Black malts and Flaked Oats it's a tremendously dark and malty beer with a delicious chocolate and coffee taste."

Mmm! Sounds fab-u-lous, as Craig "Rebel" Horwood would probably say as he downs a glass or three. But Amber and Black malts? What could have been the inspiration for this brew?

Surely not...

Next week: how to perform your own liver biopsy: a step by step guide.