Hull youngsters humble mighty Gunners

Arsenal 1, Hull City 2 (TWO)

by our Beer and Football correspondent Stray Photon

Premiership newcomers Hull City left out experienced players such as Nick Barmby (58) and Dean Windass (63) , opting instead to send out their junior squad featuring players such as Geovanni (13) and Cousin (11).

Cousin: "just like the KC only bigger"

The tactic paid off handsomely with a 2-1 win at the Emirates Stadium as Arsenal veterans such as Theo Walcott (19) failed to cope with the controversial Hull strategy of scoring more goals than the opposition.

Gunners boss Arsene Wenger blamed advanced particle physics rather than complacency for his teams's setback.

Arsene: outgunned

"I think you will find that when the Large Hadron Collider experiment at CERN is finished and the breach in the time-space-reality continuum is repaired, the world will quickly return to normal. "

LHC: spraying the rays

Mr Wenger, looking a bit cross, continued;

"Let us not forget that in the real world Hull were relegated into the Nationwide Conference several years ago and shortly afterwards went out of business altogether. What happened today is an anomaly caused by mad scientists in Geneva messing around with forces they don't understand."

Tigers manager Gabrielle Drake was more upbeat however.

Drake: two up front

"Premier League? You're having a laugh," said the purple-wigged gaffer.

Next week: Tottenham deny widespread "running away" accusations as they apply for early relegation to Championship before Saturday's fixture at home to Hull.