Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

03 June 2007

New Blogging Machine Invented

Hairfix: nuts

Crazed Twickenham inventor James Vox Airfix claims to have invented a new machine which could revolutionise the blogging process.

Airfix claims the radical new design could halve the time it takes to deliver a blog to the recipient. More controversially, Mr Bostick states that the "Blog-o-Ray" device can deliver blogs through previously impenetrable objects such as earwax and very thin paper.

"It's remarkably simple, really," he told STR's science correspondent. "When you want to read a blog, you just ask your doctor to refer you to the Blog-o-Ray department of your local hospital. They will contact you and ask you to fill in a form stating which blog you want to read and within 8 weeks you will receive an appointment for the blog transfer procedure."

"When you attend for your appointment you will lie down on the couch and after some sedative medication has been administered, the blog will be implanted in your brain. The whole process will take less than two hours. This heralds a new age for the Blog. At last we can now bring the joy of blogging to the masses."

However when asked about possible side effects Mr Araldite became somewhat evasive.
"It's true that we did have one or two, er, adverse events in the early days," he admitted, becoming slightly flustered. "But I am 87.53% certain that those problems have now been ironed out."

Spraying the Rays managed to track down one of the early volunteeers for the prototype of the Blog-o-Ray, who agreed to talk to us on condition of anonymity. His words have been typed by an actor.

"It were bloody awful," said the man, a former Premiership footballer. "Wave after wave of disinterest and apathy flowed through my body as the blog was implanted. I think it were summat called "Building my PC" or something. I got this awful cramp in t'jaw from yawning so much, and brain were numb for months."

The neurological effects of the process eventually wore off but the awful physical disfigurement is still plain for all to see:

Anonymous brain donor

Mr Evostik declined to comment on stories linking him with the recent Polonium 210 scandal.

"I tell you that stuff was just resting in my radioactive store. I didn't even know what it was. Lovely glow to it though..."

Safe nos. 1 and 2 are still missing...

Shortly afterwards we were asked to leave.

Next Week: Is Blogging Safe for Our Kids? Spraying the Rays' science correspondent has no idea.


At 8:28 pm, June 05, 2007, Blogger Howesy said...

A point of order sir.
How can a blog be implanted into the brain of someone who has no brain?
I thank you,
and goodnight.
Oh, and why is one of the proclaimers leaning on a strange medical equipment thing?
Thank you,
come again,

At 9:19 am, June 06, 2007, Blogger Istvanski said...

A friend of mine (ahem) is interested in using this machine to help him get the GWAOTM blog implanted into his thought process.

I'd like to know wether the patient, sorry, I mean the person's confidentiality would be adhered to in such a case.

At 4:23 pm, June 09, 2007, Blogger savannah said...

howesy told me to come over here...

At 9:19 pm, June 09, 2007, Blogger rockmother said...

Excellent and most thought-provoking post Mr Spray Futon. Did Eric Morecambe with hair sponsor the blogatron he is standing next to in the picture?


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