Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

28 June 2007

Brown Cabinet: latest news

Brown cabinet

Shockwaves reverberated around Westminster last night as the latest appointments to Gordon Brown's cabinet were announced.

Stray Photon, legendary former Ariels and Defectors guitarist and Cool to Snog drummer is the new Minister for Beer, Chips and Football.

Photon: man of destiny

Mr Photon spoke to the press on the steps of 10 Downing Street after his surprise appointment:

"I ask only that I serve my people. Let us go forward together. It is a great honour for my constituency that I have been offered this opportunity to Make Britain Greater. Could you print the last three words with Capital letters please?."

Meanwhile the new Prime Minister courted further controversy with his choice of Minister for Culture and Transport with Special Responsibility for South-West Trains.

Windass: hit the cabinet post

Sir Deano of Windass (62) has been asked to combine his current role as Coca-Cola Championship Top Scorer Season 07-08 with his new post.

He spoke to Spraying the Rays' political correspondent in an exclusive interview.

"Well it just came out of the blue, like. One minute I was sat at home with our lass arguing whether it should be that Billi or Charlie to get evicted this week, and then next thing I know the phone goes and she says it's Gordon about a new job. Well I says to her tell him to f**k off, those green and white hoops will do nowt for me waistline, but it turns out it were a completely different bloke."

Lord Deano promised that one of his first actions in his new role would be to instigate an inquiry as to what happened to the band who used to play as part of Zippo's Circus, currently resident on Twickenham Green rather than the the nerdy looking bald bloke sitting behind a keyboard providing musical backing to the various clowns, trapeze artistes and other circus types.

"It's political correctness gone mad", said Lord Windass.

The appointment of Robert Swipe as Undersecretary of State for Blogging and the Environment has also raised a few eyebrows, both in the blogging community and beyond.

Swipe: excessive leakage

"It's political madness gone correct," said Admiral Swipe, 86.

Further appointments are expected to be announced in the next few days.

Next week: Great Gigs of Our Time: first in a brand new series.


At 11:57 am, June 29, 2007, Anonymous Juninho said...

kkkkkkkkkkI would kkkkklike to bekkkkkkkkkome foreign kkkksekkkkkkkkkretary pleece, Meestah Futon kkkkkkkkkk - anythink ees better than playinkkkkk for kkkkkkkkkHull Ceeeteeee....

"Tall and tan and kkkkkkkyoung and kkkkkklovely, ze kkkkkkkgirl from kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeepaneeeeema goes walkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkking..."

At 6:44 pm, June 29, 2007, Blogger Howesy said...

Now that he's P.M., is he going to get his other eye?

At 2:04 am, June 30, 2007, Blogger Istvanski said...


At 1:11 pm, June 30, 2007, Blogger Stray Photon said...

Oi, Juninho. Less of it. Hull is a tropical paradise compared with Teeside. As any fule kno. Now get back on that pitch and stop whinging.

At 1:16 pm, June 30, 2007, Blogger Howesy said...

Of course you realise that Brown will never win a vote in the H of C, he'll always be one aye short.


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