Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

12 November 2006

Photon denies "Groupie" allegations

Legendary rock "musician" Stray Photon has tonight hit out at allegations made in a Podcast over antics with groupies following concerts. Photon's publicist Cliff Maxford told Spraying the Rays, "Stray is quite understandably very upset by these outrageous lies, and we are taking legal advice as to what action we can take. It is clear that a serious libel has occurred."

Howesey (left) and Istvanski dish the dirt on Stray Photon

The revelations came to light on a late night chat show hosted by Istvanski, touted by many in show business as the new Jonothan Ross, or failing that a slightly soiled Davina McColl. Due to the possibility of litigation we are unable to repeat details of the claims apart from to tell you what was said:

Howesey in his Ariels heyday

Istvanski's guest was legendary Ariels bass player Howesey "Howesy" Howes, who when asked about the band's post gig ritual made the surprise claim that following a particularly riotous performance at a wine bar in Basingstoke, Stray Photon ran away from several female fans who were pursuing the teen heartthrob. Howsey claimed to have accompanied Photon in a late night motorway dash to escape literally several female admirers during which the pair fled back to London along the M3 at speeds of up to 59 miles per hour.

Stray Photon: "not much cop with the chicks"

"This is quite clearly a deeply offensive attempt to besmirch my reputation as a rock'n'roll animal, and I vigorously deny these outrageous slurs," Mr Photon told a postman who had camped on the star's doorstep for several seconds early this morning in order to post a letter. "I can assure all my fans that in fact I was quite rude with all these ladies and probably drank some beer and took some drugs and all that too."

However Howesey maintained that he was telling the truth. "Stray never was much cop with the chicks," he told Straining the Greens in an alarming attempt at an American accent. "He would just go all red, giggle a bit and pretend to tune his claves. It was always down to me to, you know, see to the ladies." At this point Howesey winked and whispered something in the ear of our reporter who then had to go and lie down for a bit.

The case continues.

Next week: What happened to the Ariels' Xmas club money? STR investigates.


At 10:20 pm, November 12, 2006, Blogger Istvanski said...

I think you should have the tabloid template - top notch stuff!
And yes...that is Howesy's picture in the article, folks!

At 9:31 am, November 13, 2006, Blogger Howesy said...

Yup, I'm available for weddings, bar-mitzvahs, funerals and Grantograms, reasonable rates and discounts available for Hampshire.

Stray mate, let's face it, Basingstoke is in the past. As is a certain night in a dungeon in Kentish Town, a lock in at the Albert, under a bridge in Battersea... I could go on. I thought my Inter-Planetary Law cover story, swung it back in our favour and we should stick to that.

Oooh Stray, you do make me laugh!

At 9:32 am, November 13, 2006, Blogger Howesy said...

By the way Ister, who let the paps into my kitchen!?!?!

At 9:37 am, November 13, 2006, Blogger Istvanski said...

Paps? What are you on about? Have you been spending more time in that silver foil covered 'roof garden' of yours?

At 9:41 am, November 13, 2006, Blogger Istvanski said...

Perhaps the 'tabloid photographers' (as I like to call them)caught you in a compromising position with Kate Moss and a coke mountain in your conservatory with you yelling: "This'll teach Pete Doherty for supporting the hula-hoops..."


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