Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

13 November 2006

Diagnostic Radiology: Your Questions Answered

The wild and wacky hi-tech world of Diagnostic Radiology can be a tad confusing for poor old Joe Public. So in an effort to demystify modern imaging techniques, Spraying the Rays presents a new feature where a prominent Healthcare Professional answers your queries.

This week we are privileged to welcome the legendary celebrity radiographer Stray Photon, DCR(R), DRI, who will do his best to respond to your questions.

A Mr H, formerly of Ham, Surrey writes;

Dear Mr Futon,

I have a recurrent problem where I get a pain in my eye every time I drink a hot beverage. Is there a diagnostic procedure which might find the cause of my discomfort? Should I ask my doctor for a CT scan, an Ultrasound scan or would a plain X Ray be the answer?

Stray Photon responds:

Save the NHS some money, son. Simply take the spoon out of the cup before drinking your tea.


A Mr RS of Denmark writes;

Dear Starry Proton,

I have a complex psychological disorder and I have read that an MRI scan can be of value in the diagnosis of neurological disturbances. Could you advise? I keep thinking I am an item of domestic furnishing; specifically a pair of curtains.

Stray Photon responds:

For God's sake man, pull yourself together.

However if you are a private patient I think we should proceed with a plain skull series of OM, PA and lateral, followed by a +-contrast CT brain scan. After that we should be able to screw some more money out of you or your insurance company for a MRI scan and maybe even a PET scan. Carotid Doppler Ultrasound would look good on the invoice too. By that time we are sure to have found something wrong with you so we can go on from there. Hope this helps.

IV of Croydon asks;

Dear Starchy Cruton,

Like your previous caller, I'm completely nuts. I think I'm the family dog. Can Diagnostic Radiology help me?

Stray Photon Responds;

GET OFF THE COUCH! You know you're not allowed on the furniture!



Next Week: Can recycling old jokes slow down Global Warming?

3 Comments:

At 8:48 am, November 14, 2006, Blogger Howesy said...

Mr H. formerly of Ham, Surrey writes:
Thanks for your advice Dr Photon.
I have a new problem.
My arm hurts in several places, any advice?
Ta.

 
At 4:40 pm, November 14, 2006, Anonymous Mrs Ivy Windass of Croydon said...

I'd like to personally recommend the NHS professionalism of Dr Stay Hardon.

I recently took my Tiddles for a cat-scan at Anlaby Institute of Radiography (A.I.R) in Hull to try and find out why my feline friend kept bumping into lamposts.

After a full check-up, we were sent on our way with prescriptions for large doses of lysergic acid. Since then, we have both settled down to our routine of 17 hour staring competitions.

A winner has yet to be decided.

 
At 5:45 pm, November 14, 2006, Blogger Stray Photon said...

SP responds:

Mr H:

Don't go to those places.

Ivy:

Crazy, man.

 

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