Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

26 October 2006

Exclusive: Photon for Duran Duran?

Spraying the Rays can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the REAL reason behind today's shock walkout by guitarist Andy Taylor of 80's popsters Duran Duran.

Duran Duran: "jolly peeved"
A furious Simon Le-Bon and John Taylor today placed the blame for Taylor's exit firmly at the feet of a little known Twickenham based musician, a Mr Stray Photon. Le-Bon takes up the story:

"Some sod gave Andy an antique cassette tape called "Square Four EP" by some group called the Ariels. We all thought it was a bit of a joke, but once Andy had heard it he got all moody and started muttering stuff about "not being worthy" and "how does he do that?"

Taylor: left succesful outfit for meteroic rise to obscurity

It is reported that after having heard the tape Mr Taylor vowed never to pick up the guitar again.

Following extensive work by Spraying the Rays' dedicated team of researchers we have identified "The Ariels" as a four piece popular beat combo of the 90's, "the decade that music forgot". Popular in Basingstoke, along with Photon the group featured the then little known Robert Swipe on guitar, vocals and euphonium, and Howesey "Howesey" Howes on bass guitar with special responsibility as female fans liaison officer. The band also boasted former Arsenal footballer Charlie George on drums. They had the distinction of having emptied the Prince Albert in Twickenham faster than any other band before or since, as certified by a plaque outside the once popular public house.

Duran Duran's management now face a race against time to find a replacement to play on the remaining dates of their tour of out-of season holiday camps on England's North-East coast. However keyboard player Nick Rhodes has a novel soution in mind.

Nick Rhodes: flamboyant

"Stray Photon. It's all his fault. he can bloody well fix the mess we're in. If he thinks he's so bloody good he can play guitar." he told us from the band's luxury B&B in Filey, Yorkshire.

Attempts to track down the reclusive Photon have, however, so far drawn a blank. After the band split up acrimoniously over disputed songwriting credits, he is thought to have been living in a lead lined room in Chertsey, Surrey for the last seven years, having turned his back on his former rock'n'roll lifestyle.

Photon: recent picture

However the remaining members of the 80's teen supergroup felt this was not likely to be a problem. "OK, so he looks pasty, he's a bit fat, and can't play. He'll fit in just fine." said John Taylor.

Next week:

Whatever happened to Robert Swipe? We track down the former legendary frontman of the Ariels.


At 3:59 pm, October 29, 2006, Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Having heard The Ariels, I can honestly say that it's a travesty that they never got into the charts. Can we hear some more tracks please?

At 4:00 pm, October 29, 2006, Blogger Molly Bloom said...

It's very strange that you should post this, as I was singing one track this morning as I was doing the washing up, looking out of the window as the little robin pecked at the crusts of toast. He was really beautiful and perfect and it just brought back the song.

At 5:51 pm, October 29, 2006, Blogger Stray Photon said...

I would have to refer you to my honorable friend Mr Bob Swipe who has the technology to inflict...er sorry, I mean share music via the medium of the Podcast.

Which song did the robin remind you of?

At 8:03 pm, October 29, 2006, Blogger Howesy said...

listen out for a guest appearance on a DEPcast soon, (when Ister and me get our respective arses in gear) for more Ariels exclusives!!

At 8:25 pm, October 30, 2006, Blogger Molly Bloom said...

It goes like this?

'And my insecurity'

I wrote a piece about it with that as the title. I can play it on the piano now. Yeehar.


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