Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

30 August 2006

It is Happening Again...

Some years ago, as we were passing the time of day over a pint or three of London Pride (this being in the dark days before the advent of Twickenham Fine Ales), Mr Bob Swipe happened to mention to me a new TV series he had been watching and recommended it in glowing terms. "Phenomenal", "Sublime" and "Outstanding" were just some of the words he would have used had he known what they meant.

Well seeing as his previous recommendations had revolutionised my leisure time through the introduction of Drambuie shandy and plastic sheeting, what was I to do? I made it my business to watch the next episode of this monumental drama. And score up another bullseye for the enigmatic self styled "Swipester"; I was hooked. I bring this to your attention because the sixth and final series of this unmissable program starts again tomorrow night. It is of course:

The Sopranos

The story so far: the Welsh Valleys are in the iron grip of an organised crime family masquerading as a travelling opera troupe; the Bledoweudds. The Heddlu De Cymru seem powerless to intervene against the various "waste management" scams perpetrated by the family involving the hijacking of lorry loads of manure and subsequent selling on of this valued commodity to rose growers in the affluent metropolis that is Cardiff. With the head of rival Swansea crime family the Gwenfrewis under arrest and facing trial, will "Godfather" Bleidian Bledoweudd (he's the one with the fiddle) make his move?

Next week: The Tweenies. After the poor reception for Fizz's solo album, is there any truth in the split rumours?

13 Comments:

At 7:33 pm, August 30, 2006, Anonymous I-pimp-for-Hobbits said...

My TV guide here says

'More ballsy than The Castrato's' but not as deep as The Tenors'.

Sounds good.

 
At 9:31 pm, August 30, 2006, Blogger Robert A. Swipe said...

".....they come 'ere. steul ow-er warter.....is it?

Just when I thought I was out, they *dragged* me back in. Mark you.."

I know what sublime means, I'll have you know..


[exit Bob frantically searching for a dictionary/beginner's guide to the alphrabet....]

Well done everyone!!

 
At 11:01 am, September 01, 2006, Anonymous Radiographer's Sister said...

My first visit to a Blog - most entertaining, especially family references...
it also helps to explain why somebody's decorating is taking so long!!

I'll be back...

 
At 3:09 pm, September 01, 2006, Anonymous Fred West said...

I am writing my blog on the bare walls of our living room and bedroom, then covering it with wallpaper. Make a nice welcoming surprise for whoever moves in next

 
At 11:17 pm, September 01, 2006, Blogger Stray Photon said...

Crikey. A Radiographer's Sister. Now I'm in trouble; she'll tell my Mum...just like she always did...

 
At 1:11 pm, September 10, 2006, Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I'd just like to say that The Tweenies are in fact avant garde. A couple of weeks ago they mentioned a new invention called a Coleman Ornette. It was marvellous.

 
At 5:45 pm, September 10, 2006, Anonymous I-pimp-for-Hobbits said...

If you recall earlier mails, I wrote that I would be borrowing DVD's of past Sopranos series from a neighbour. I have in my sweaty feet (got meself a bit tangled with the yoga) series 1 and have watched the first 4 episodes. Well, Mr Know-it-all Spraying the Rays, it ain't set in Wales at all...its set on Jersey...wheres Bergerac when you need him to sort out these nere do wells. But I confess a pleasing satisfaction with what I have witnessed so far. It reminds me very much of what my old man used to get up to..he was kindly but very psychotic. Seriously though I enjoy the fact that Tony (he lets me call him that now) is now using his shrink sessions to good effect with his line of work. Isn't his uncle horrible...very mean. He looks like he would take a young nephew to really cool places, but hes more likely to blow your brains out on some seedy dock. The daughters great...even mobsters have their parenting skills tested. I could go on. I'm rubbing my hands together now, not only to practice for when I am 80 and can't afford heating in winter because we live in a country that doesn't give a a toss about its elderly but to get me in the frigging mood for the next episode..now f**k off before I tear you a new anal passage...

Have I passed the audition Mr Scorcese?

 
At 6:43 pm, September 10, 2006, Blogger Stray Photon said...

I have found them to be ideal management training videos and use the techniques described therein on a daily basis at the Nuclear Medicine factory...as a result sickness rates have plummetted and, interestingly, the quality of the meat served in the canteen has vastly improved.

 
At 11:14 am, September 13, 2006, Anonymous I-pimp-for-Hobbits said...

HBO, that beacon of high quality TV in the States are doing a Sopranos off shoot entitled 'The Bum-Notes'. I have seen the pilot episode and thought I would pass across to you one scene to whet your appetites.

Scene- Dark interior of a cafe. A portly, grizzled old mobster, is talking in half light to a small group of elderly 'had their day' mobsters. He is lamenting the passing of 'respect', the others listening intently, nodding their heads gently in agreement.

'I mean...wha' d'ya do. I goes into the barbers to collect the rent. And wha' d'ya think the bum does? He holds me upside down in da chair while his limp wristed assistant shaves ma balls. Then its the Early Learning Centre..wha' d'ya think happens?...I get chased by a group of punk toddlers throwing play doh. Then its HMV where some spotty good for nuthin tells me he's banged my daughter and my son. I tells yer...fings are different now. I rang Johnny-Come -Lately to sort these punks out, but he's never on time. I tell yer its tough on the streets in Richmond'

So..what do you think? Is it the end for Mr Bum Note? Can he regain respect on the streets?Did he ever have it in the first place?

 
At 12:27 pm, September 16, 2006, Anonymous I-pimp-for-Hobbits said...

Well....my flabber has been well and truly gasted. Robert Swipe and Spraying the Rays...I prostrate myself before you as if before Eastern Potentate's. Why have I taken so long to watch 'The Sopranos? Like some ancient ascetic hermit, I sealed myself off from worldly pleasures and closed my ears to your murmurings of pleasure...er..if you know what I mean. I am yours to command...recommend and I will watch...series 2 is now looking at me from the DVD shelf in our front room...its siren song gently persuading me to click out that shiny, shiny...oh so shiny disc...and place it in that inviting slot that slides smoothly out of the DVD player. Anyway I'm going to watch it very soon. A report will follow.

 
At 12:30 pm, September 19, 2006, Blogger Robert A. Swipe said...

I-p-f-h - you should check out Curb.

It's c***ing brilliant!

(You can get up now, by the way...)

 
At 9:43 pm, September 24, 2006, Anonymous I-pimp-for-Hobbits said...

Ah...Mr Swipe...for once my taste is the equal of yours. I do indeed tune into 'Curb'and hugely enjoyable it is too. What I appreciate is that you know that those small things that occur at the start of each programme are going to come back to haunt Larry David big time...half the fun is trying to work out how!..and he just can't help saying things that really are better left unsaid.f**k, s***t, w**k...so sorry...the Tourettes has...c**t, s***m bubble...has kicked in....

better...s**t... go

 
At 8:34 am, October 02, 2006, Anonymous I-pimp-for-Hobbits said...

I am always on the lookout for new and innovative ways to spend my leisure time, and not having too much success with pelting next doors pitbull with blu tak, I tried that Drambuie Shandy and plastic sheeting you mentioned in your Sopranos piece. Well, if you could see my face right now, theres a furrow of puzzlement and well, yes, disappointment on my brow. I'm in the garden (figuratively speaking right this second) standing on a plastic sheet in my Y-Fronts and I have a Drambuie shandy in my hand...whats next? I don't get it...unless the feeling I am meant to experience is one of deep insecurity and embarassment. No, its really not me...now wheres that blu-tak? Come and get it boy. Jeez he's one angry muther-fucker...

 

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