Spraying the Rays

The Alternative Radiographer

22 August 2006

Fender Telecaster

This is basically two different shaped bits of wood bolted together in the middle with wires stretched across it. To make it work properly you connect it to a machine with lots of knobs on it the most inportant of which is labelled "volume".

It is a funny sort of toy because all it seems to do is make quite unpleasant noises when you touch the strings. I have had mine for more than ten years now and it still makes the bad sounds when I play with it. I have had different ones before that since I was since I was about sixteen and they were all pretty much the same.

My friend Bob tells me that that this one is a bit like the one Scotty Moore of the Antarctic used to play with Elvis when he wasn't out discovering Poles just after other people had discovered them first.

Bob and I used to be in a club together for people who played with these toys; it was called a "band". We all used to have one of these apart from one of the boys who got to sit down at the back and hit things. He was a bit odd. When we made the noises people used to get upset and told us to stop. Some people went away until we had finished.

Mrs Radiographer says that the best way to look after these is to leave them in their special cases and not take them out. Not ever.

You will notice that this guitar has a rosewood neck. This is because I am a boy. it is a well known medical fact that only GURLS play guitars with maple necks. Except for my Ibanez Blazer which doesn't count.

STR rating: 7/10. The last bit of furniture to go on the fire.


At 5:38 pm, August 23, 2006, Blogger Istvanski said...

If you haven't already tried them, may I suggest the toys by the Jackson Guitar company (the ones made in the U.S, not the Indonesian made alternatives).
The ugly noises seem to sound a tad fuller than Fender planks and to many, they are a lot easier to get on with (much like Ibanez I suppose).

At 12:13 am, August 24, 2006, Blogger Stray Photon said...

I imagine the Fuller sound is due to the beer soaked into the dual coil humbucking pickups rather than the characteristic single coil Fender sound. I will investigate further. Your help is appreciated.

At 11:09 pm, August 24, 2006, Blogger Robert A. Swipe said...

"Except for my Ibanez Blazer which doesn't count."

It doesn't read or right either...[pedantic Educationalist ed.}....

You can't beat a late 70s, cut and shunt hard tail Strat if you ask me....especially when they've fallen off the back of Woody Goldstein's lorry and you Mum's given you a blank cheque to buy it.

(Mine has a rosewood neck also, which would sem to bear out the science of the assertion above....

p.s. will listen to your podcast Istster as aoon as I can find it on my iPod. You seem to have given it a hieroglyph in stead of a teitle and it's deuced hard to locate the blighty....


At 8:19 pm, August 26, 2006, Blogger Istvanski said...

You really should get yerself a new keyboard for ya PC, Bob.

It's making a mockery of your freedom of expression.

At 2:19 pm, September 11, 2006, Blogger Howesy said...

Now then. If you remember the bloke who used to stand to your left Mr Photon sir, you know, just beside the man who sat at the back, do you remember the mapleness of his instrument's neck per chance? Was it not also the case that, though modesty prevents too much detailing, that the aforementioned gentleman (or git, whatever) was the most succesful member as far as being a boy and all that goes with it is concerned? Therefore de-bunking your theory on neck woods dictating the testosteronisation on the performer.. or something. Is that your amp btw?

At 12:38 am, September 12, 2006, Blogger Stray Photon said...

No it's not my amp, and it's not my guitar...just an image I peoached off the internet to illustrate what a fine looking guitar is a sunburst Telecaster WITH A ROSEWOOD NECK. I'm not going to post a real picture of my guitar an have the likes of you ogling it night after night, am I?

And "the most succesful member as far as being a boy and all that goes with it...", well, remember Basingstoke? I rest my case. Let's call it a draw.

At 9:17 pm, September 15, 2006, Blogger Howesy said...

Aaah, yes, Basingstoke, ha ha! I intend covering that in my pending interview with istvanski, a potted cod band history type thing, don't worry, your real identity/age will be protected.

At 9:19 pm, September 15, 2006, Blogger Istvanski said...

What exactly happened in Basingstoke?


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